Sexual, Masturbation and Porn Addiction Help Forum

Hello. Just 3 months ago I found my new husband of 5 months had reactivated all of his profiles on the online dating sites. This is where we had originally met. I suspected he was having an affair and I found him having MANY onlne conversations with different women. Most of these were cybersex, after they made an emotional connection. He was even in touch with his old girlfriends by email fo sex chat. During our courtship, the sex was awesome and it started to fall off shortly after we were married and now is non-existent. Of course he blames me for many things...drinking at home being one of them...so I quit... but he hasn't changed. I do not drink at all.

I confronted him about his computer usage and online affairs and he said he would stop. I had reason to believe he did as I put a spy program on his computer. He still had trouble giving up his former friendship with his girlfriends. With all of this, there were no physical affairs going on and I have proof of this too. He would even choose east coast women online to catch them before work or in the morning when he was alone at work!

Well then after he had to discontinue the online cybersex, I caught him coming home during the day to look at porn online. Then back to work! His computer access at work was limited after Dec. and he wondered if someone suspected his inappropriate usage. His system was brought in line with the rest of the company...which happens to be a school. He says he can't email me or family anymore or even access yahoo at work. He has had this job for 30 years so the patterns and habits are deeply ingrained.

He has nothing to do with me physically but will hug me hello and goodbye much like living with your sister! We sleep in the same bed. He blames me for monitoring him and destoying friendships he had from the past. All he will say is that when there were problems in the relationship, he reverted back to what he use to do when he was single. He says he just needs time to get back the old feelings that he use to have for me. But if he had given alll this up why can't he move towards me?

If I ask him if he wants the marriage to survive he will only say I'm still here aren't I? " We are a church going family and he had duties in the church too. I am a committed Christian and a believer in Jesus Christ. My pastor says he will have to be confronted soon if he doesn't seek help. Pastor has suggested divorce at some point. I do love him, but I don't know what steps to take to get through this mess. I caught him Dec. 30th and it s now April 7th. Can someone identify what is happening here, if it has a name, and suggest something to help me? I am at a loss as to what to do. What' s the addiction exactly? How do I get his attention? What steps does a person take? Would you treat him like you would an alcoholic? Please help me.

You still here?

I am sorry to hear this. How are you doing now? How is he? I read your post with much sadness. I pray God's hand is very near in this situation.