Sexual, Masturbation and Porn Addiction Help Forum

i have been trying to get clean and sober for years i tend to stay clean then i'll watch porn and start a cycle in motion ending up w/me going to pick up prostitutes getting some crack and well you know the rest of the story...i hate this....any one relate...any help-i just found this site by accident??? i am in a.a. but not much of this stuff gets attention--no one likes to discuss this...like it's taboo

Rob,
Dude, I can't relate to you man, but there has to be something more than what is going on. Why I say that is because you are taking this addiction to the next level with drugs. I strongly encourage you to take in some serious drug rehab. You can't go beyond your affects of porn until you understand the affects of the drugs. Work on that. Let me know what you think.

i see addictions operate the same in our minds---that is where the problem is, not in the porn or the drugs,but in my mind and i am aware of this---it's how i think that has to be addressed--and i have been in rehab--a work in progress....thanks for the reply....ROBERT

Rob,
Ok, I understand you a little better. What other things trigger you to do what you do? Mine is boredom. My job requires me to be actively engaged in thought and when I get home and if I don't keep it active I slip into boredom and bam, I slip. But I also need to learn how to relax my mind and enjoy life a little more. Balance!

I agree, being bored is a dangerous place for an addict of my type--I will come up w/things to do that may NOT be in my (or others) best interest- so balance,yea,just knowing I have many choices helps--before recovery it was sorta black or white thinking--today there is alot of grey area to explore,which is my responsibility and i get help by sharing this stuff in meetings and places like this site,i realize my brain is sick in areas but i am not powerless to help my self as long as i am honest with myself about these issues....and be willing to do what is necessary---sometimes i'm not and that causes me problems,the beauty there is i get to learn about me if i pay attention,and move forward.

I'm new to this site and I admit that I have a totally out of control internet porn addiction that I am powerless over. I am pretty sick of it all to tell you the truth. Sometimes I'm so tired from being up all nite masturbating but my sickness drags me out of bed just to look at more. It seems like the more I look at, the more of my morals dissapear and I end up looking at and being aroused by things that maybe I shouldn't be looking at. It's like I'm getting "drunk" on lust. Can anyone relate? Please leave a note.

Firstly, you're not out of control - you just think you are. I think you are on a leaky ship and you need to jump off. If you can't do it by ourself, then you may neeed to think about getting proffessional help.

If you think you can do this on your own then you need to see what you've done and then reverse it. There was life before the Internet, so take the first step to getting your life back by getting off the Internet completely if you can.

You have set up patterns of behaviour that you keep returning to. How did you do that? You were too focused on yourself - your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions. You thought you'd found a way to bliss by satisfying your physical self, especially through your senses. However, thoughts, feelings and emotions are fleeting - they come and they go. So do sensual stumuli of the nervous system. Therefore you need to realise that isn't the path to bliss. You will never be satfisfied that way as you appear to have discovered.

The trick is not to latch on to thoughts, feelings and emotions but watch them and let them dissolve. You need to let go. Try to still your mind and you will find a state of peace. The more you do this (stilling the mind of thoughts) the more open you will feel. The more open you feel, the more loving and appreciative about life (satisfied in general) you will become and the less your attention will be upon yourself.

Well written Steve B.