Sexual, Masturbation and Porn Addiction Help Forum

what i dont understand, is that everytime i pray to god to keep me strong and give me strength to pull through
i never get it...
EVER!
i never have

and you know what else i dont understand? Is how I can hate myself right after a masterbate, but then a day later i do it again

It hasn't been helping that I've been sick and not going to school either.
I need to hang out with people, and the summer is the only time that I usually can!
AND IT ISN'T COMING FAST ENOUGH

I know that feeling of hopelessness. I know it well. Its miserable but I am here to tell you there is more than hop for you. There is a way out. I highly recommend signing up for the program over at http://addictionsuccess.com Its the only thing that helped me after years of trying.

I understand what you mean and I hope I can shade some light on your situation. The funny thing about us humans, when praying to GOD is that we expect Him to answer our prays in the manner that we want him to. I am sure that after you pray God opens a door for you to get out. That is if you are "honestly praying" for a way out. If you are expecting for God to come down from heaven and tell you NO, then we are out of line. That is taking one of the greatest gifts he gave us for granted, our free will!!! When you pray for strenght during that tough temped moment do the first thing that comes to mind after you say Amen. For me it is picking up my Bible or going to watch T.V. If you sit and dewell on your temptation then I promise you will fall because you are fighting a war on two fronts. One againist your flesh... that one can be tough because your flesh's desires are strong and will push us to the edge just so it is satisfied. It has know care for you not wanting to. The second battle is the spiritual one. The forces of satan that are trying to bring you down and make you do the deed you don't want to do. I am pretty sure you can relate to the cartoons - the devil on one shoulder- and the angel on the other.

So when you pray for strenght- get up and thank God that he heard you and gave you the strenght to come to Him in pray before you sinned again. Be thankful in all situations.

Lastly the sucky feeling you feel after your deed is the conviction of the Holy Spirit rebuking you for not using the strenght that you prayed for.

I hope this helps, and keep fighting the good fight. You and I (we all) fall short of the glory of God. So lets be thankful that he is so forgiving.

I agree with Cole. It is not an easy fight. If it was we wouldn't be on this forum. Think of how many men (and women) have been laid low by this sin. I totally understand how you feel about hating yourself for doing it and then doing 24 hours later. I remember feeling so strong of an aversion to it one day and then masturbating again before the day was over. Our emotions are strong, but (if you are anything like me), they have no staying power and are very fickle. I'm pretty good at rationalizing my sin away, especially this sin. I have found that self-hatred is actually not very constructive. And often it has led to me simply indulging again since I am so bad, I might as well act like it! Has anyone else ever thought like that? Know that God loves you. Even though he sees us at our WORST, he loves us. That is the amazing thing. If my wife knew me like God knows me, she'd probably be out the door! I think you're right that you need to be with people and get interested in other things. Set goals that you think you can reach--don't give up. Keep your head up--you're not alone.

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