Sexual, Masturbation and Porn Addiction Help Forum

I am so tired of having this addiction. Many days I wake up and feel like I dont control my life. I mean I have control over most aspects of my life but not when it comes to this addiction. I guess you can describe me as a finctional addict since know one can tell I have this addiction. I guess they can since I'm not my usual happy self some days. I know that I present myself more confidently without this addiction. Anybody feel similar out there?

Thanks

Yeah, I do feel similar, mrchee. I have heard myself saying "I'm so tired of this" so many times. Every time after I crash. The loss of control really is one of the worst parts to me.
After reading this great website a lot, I think the most important thing to do now is to pick yourself up and trying not to feel worthless. Have faith in yourself!

I am making another attempt to stay clean since a couple of days now - when I found this website. How about you?

i feel like it is controlling my life 2

I feel the same. I feel like a chameleon. I change my self to suit the situation, but I still feel as if my soul is shrivelled. I feel like I am lying to people all the time, including me. Generally I think I'm percieved as a sensitive, caring type which I am, but when I give in to the addiction I feel like a demon. Don't get me wrong, I'm not crazy or anything, this "condition"just makes me feel so low. However, I am determined to conquer it. Alea jacta est - the die is cast.

"Generally I think I'm percieved as a sensitive, caring type which I am, but when I give in to the addiction I feel like a demon."

You have no idea how much that rings true in my life.

We must always have hope, otherwise the battle is already lost.

Hi T-Angel,

It's a shit situation isn't it? Hope that you are coping with it. I'm still doing good. A couple of wobbles in the last month and a half, but generally on top of it. I'm not in the forum all the time. I don't want to go down that route either. Take it easy and good luck.

Chameleon