Sexual, Masturbation and Porn Addiction Help Forum

The aim of this topic is simple - to involve our conscious. Most of the time I go to a porn site half consciously. My hands type on their own. And then I'm suddenly there. And then, I start masturbating after a while. It's almost automatic.

Anyway, I'll post here every time, I feel like watching porn. I request you to do the same. Every time, you feel like watching porn, just a leave a note here. It doesn't matter, if you don't want to stop. Just a leave a note here stating that you feel like watching and you are going to watch. [If possible also add what exactly are you feeling and what do you think is the reason for this]

This topic will serve three purposes:-

1. Involve our conscious. [This is one of the first steps in overcoming addictions.]
2. It'll serve as a log. [To assess how we are improving over time]

Here we go.

I feel like watching porn. I have been watching porn around this time everyday for the last couple of days. I wanna watch. I'll post in two hours if I watched or not. I'll try not to.

I waited for one hour. Yippee. The urge to watch porn now (or rather to masturbate) is much stronger now. I'll probably eat something and then play some chess on the internet until the desire drops. Will post in an hour.

Controlled myself for one more hour by playing chess. Don't feel like watching porn anymore :D

..... see also 'One Word Definition of Porn' thread - the key is to shift the seat of your awareness.

Feel like watching porn again. Seeing pictures of half naked women in my head. Damn.

You know what to do. Shift your awareness on to something else.

@ Steve B
It's not that easy. Your awareness tends to return to ... And after a while of shifting your awareness and then back. You finally give in.
But you are right, I do exactly what you are saying - I do something else to allow my mind to focus on something other than "internal" porn.

@normal post
Did not succumb to the desire for watching porn. Resisted for another two hours.

@ Steve B
read your post 'One Word Definition of Porn'. Nice.

It works. I'll be entering my 11th week of freedom this week. Porn and masturbation haven't registered in all that time.

'Internal porn' is simply the subconscious serving up remembrances of previous pushes of the 'feel good' button. I should know - I've been pushing that button off and on for four decades. But it can be overcome as I've described. It's all down to getting into the habit of shifting focus, of consistency, of really wanting that freedom at all costs.

I won't be posting here again until next August - the anniversary of my decision to quit.

Good luck. Stay free.

@Steve B
Wow, anniversary. I can't even dream of staying away from this habit for so long. Amazing.

The urge is there today but very little. I am confident that I'll succeed today. :)

Again the urge is there today but very little. I think I'll be able to survive. I also told my girlfriend today that I'm trying not to watch porn. She laughed when I told her I have been controlling for three days (She doesn't know that I'm addicted). Anyway, this should serve as an additional check for me.

Was just looking at my net speed -> Wanted to know the net speeds of different parts of the world -> Didn't know Kazakhstan was so big -> started searching for other big countries -> talked to my gf [long distance :-(] -> got back on my comp. -> started looking back again at the different countries in the world -> was amazed that there were so many big countries I wasn't aware of -> started looking for romania -> started looking for romanian girls (saw a bit of topless pictures) -> searched for strip clubs in romania -> remembered my vow (to post whenever I'm about to commit a mistake) -> here I am typing. (-> 10 mins back felt like going to the p2p porn site [=> sure shot disaster])

Phew. Just saved.

Feel like watching porn. Don't feel like resisting. When I ask myself the question why not? I am not able to give a convincing reply to myself. The urge is strong today. This has happened with me before. After a few days, I forget the reasons I gave up the activity in the first place. Or for some reason, they don't come to my mind. All I know is I have not watched porn for some days now and I would like to.