by Huppim on Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:55 pm
Well last night after coming home from a day of running around and taking care of business I lay to sleep tired then I think I forgot to do one thing that I usually do to prevent dreamy state masturbation, that can happen in a subconscious, barely conscious state, where you are sleepy and not quite in control of yourself. I forgot to tie up my shorts, real tight so that my hand does not reach my privates while I am sleeping, which is usually what happens. I forgot to do that, I think, I do not quite remember. Sometimes I tie real tight and somehow my pajamas or shorts become untied. Another thing I do to prevent this thing from happening, well there are about three things, getting and being tired when going to bed, tying my shorts or pajamas and reading the Bible at least two hours before retiring, all of which I failed to do. The minimum is usually just tying your shorts or pajamas. You have to be careful what your last thoughts are before going to bed. The last thoughts I had where really a book I was reading about Ivanka Maria Trump daughter to Donald Trump and that is kind of what I masturbated about in my sleepy state. It was not a pornographic book in any respect it was just an autobiography/blog/opinion/advice book but it was in my dreamy state and for some reason triggered a masturbation tendency but in a subconcious state that makes me really angry and depressed because in a subconcious state it is really, really hard to control yourself. It is weird, I wonder if reading a book not even about anything provocative is enough just to trigger this if it is by a woman? The book on its cover has a great picture of Maria Trump. It is not revealing. It just shows her face and her figure. I did not even look at the picture all that much. I read a good portion of the book about an hour or an hour an a halfs worth. Perhaps, it was not her book at all. But, while masturbating her image came up. I think I just blew it. I did not have the moral courage to stop although I was indeed in a very tired, not fully concious sleepy state I usually can stop myself. The problem is that the last thoughts before going sleep is very important. This is the time I should devote to Bible study. This is the reason I failed. I WILL BE BACK ON SUNDAY MARCH 8, WHICH WILL BE DAY 82, WHEN I GET THERE. THIS WILL BREAK MY LAST RECORD WHICH IS 81. SO FAR I HAVE GONE 68 DAYS WITHOUT INCIDENT AND 81 FOR A RECORD OF 2-149.